Shitlisting Service Announcements

https://steamcommunity.com/id/Coeco/recommended/1604030/

I totally didn't post it several days ago and forgot to announce it.

EDIT: Now #1 on the store page: https://i.imgur.com/D6Ni8W4.png

https://steamcommunity.com/id/Coeco/recommended/1144200

Happened quite a while ago and i didn't get notified for some reason.

In the typical ♥♥♥♥♥♥ damage-control fashion though, they have mostly just copy-pasted what was already said and added ♥♥♥♥ like "we consulted ourselves" as some sort of excuse or justification to removing Early Access owners' ability to have early access to the game they own.

Turns out it's pretty hard to review something when you and many others are physically incapable of playing it for prolonged periods of time.

https://steamcommunity.com/id/Coeco/recommended/1599340

EDIT:

Aaand it's been reported: https://i.imgur.com/yaM4KVd.png

TL;DR: This game is ironically not ready for early access and the devs much less so.

https://steamcommunity.com/id/Coeco/recommended/1144200

EDIT: And it's already been reported lmao: https://i.imgur.com/1af9Au5.png

Valve's automatic content check system has begun censoring the URL of this group (most likely because it has ♥♥♥♥ in it):

https://i.imgur.com/7Yt5eGm.gif

So it's been changed from:

https://steamcommunity.com/groups/♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

To:

https://steamcommunity.com/groups/SListingService/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQFfMyxa04A

UPDATE: Crowbcat made a video on it, reiterating many of the points here and having a particularly fitting ending:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdRLNUGmFC8

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This game is coming out very soon with an open beta due in about 2-3 days and oh boy is it riddled with issues, some of which are very obvious once you realize that the developers are the same ones behind Evolve. For those that don't know or don't remember:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7M4RwGwQslM

TL;DR: Game was absurdly imbalanced with some monsters easily reaching 95%+ winrates and it had about 100-250€+ in DLC and microtransactions at LAUNCH worth of cut & resold content on-top of the 60€ base game price while having no content or polish to back it up. "Uh, they just made a mistake and tried rectifying it, right?"

Nope. They knew internally this game was a piece of ♥♥♥♥ extremely early in it's development:

https://i.imgur.com/HSZNxIk.png

"Well at least they apologized afterwards, right?"

... Nope! They proceeded to zealously defend this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ once people started calling foul:

https://www.pcinvasion.com/turtle-rock-explains-and-defends-evolves-dlc/

And now they're gonna go ahead and do the exact same thing with Back 4 Blood that has a base-price of 60€ and 40€ in Day-1-DLC (with cosmetic microtransactions on the way) while it has the following issues 1-2 months before release:

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• Horrible Evolve-level imbalance between characters and guns. Versus mode is a complete ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ clown-fiesta joke, read the forum for details.
  
• Game can't be played solo because the AI is so vehemently retarded, they often indefinitely freeze up against specials, don't bother defending themselves against hordes and even go into "oh ♥♥♥♥ i've fallen" ledge-grab modes when any given map requires a descending jump.
  
• No tactical reloads for any weapons. Meaning: Your character chambers their weapon every time they reload, even if there's a bullet/shell in the barrel.
  
• Certain regular zombies don't make any noise whatsoever, most likely due to missing sound files.
  
• Performance is very spotty and tanks further if there's bad connectivity.
  
• Many animations are broken with stuff like shotguns vibrating like dildos after being fired for some reason.
  
• You don't get to control your own flashlight as it only turns on automatically in very specific locations, despite the game having tons of extremely dark areas. Here's some examples:
  
  https://i.imgur.com/twoGJ0Y.png
  
  https://i.imgur.com/g0kHDMh.png
  
  https://i.imgur.com/5yJhAW7.png
  
• 2 out of the 8 maps in the first act of the game causes 100% crashing for a huge portion of the player-base: https://i.imgur.com/LHseFGL.png - While also being generally broken in certain ways, such as items spawning inside solid objects.. ALL other acts that the game has is going completely untested prior to release.
  
• If someone leaves versus mode, there is no auto-fill so the affected team basically automatically loses.
  
• Game implements the kernel-level Easy Anti Cheat which will also make any sort of workshop or mods for this game very unlikely.
  
• Melee weapons are useless as everyone gets a free infinite "punching" attack that can be upgraded into a combat-knife which 1-hit-kills zombies for 5% stamina while pistols let you carry around 600-800+ spare ammo.
  
• Has some seriously concerning hash & identification ♥♥♥♥ going on: https://i.imgur.com/lSP5rs0.png
  
• The advertised "AI director" does all the same mistakes and ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ from L4D2 which includes infinite hordes + spamming 10 special infected every 2 minutes at finales and generally just not giving you enemies when you're doing good and spraying you with them when you're down on your luck.
  
• Weapon sights are the size of a human head and obscure a third of your screen for whatever reason: https://i.imgur.com/jIKsWqc.png
  
• Game is riddled with serious bugs, like having it spawn two teams of players: https://i.imgur.com/B0dftzg.png
  
• Weapon attachments can't be taken off, only swapped out.
  
• Zombie animations are sometimes broken, having them hit you despite not swinging. They also have a tendency to hit you after they're dead even at pings as little as 40-60 which becomes catastrophically bad at higher difficulties.
  
• Ammo is split between several groups, so if two or more people use the same type of weapon you will generally be screwed.
  
• Recoil animations for certain guns 100% block you from seeing your crosshair.

Think they're going to adress even half of this in 1-2 months given their company history? I'm certainly not gonna be holding my breath.

In an effort to educate the masses, i made an informative summary of the Steam Deck and posted it on the forum (same thing as in the prior announcement). Valve's response? Ban me & delete it on the grounds of "advertising". I'm not kidding:

https://i.imgur.com/kfTa7UZ.png

The only links in that post were to news article, pictures of steams' hardware survey and other informative sources.

.gif image of entire thread: https://i.imgur.com/rV3fdB9.gif

Original thread URL:

https://steamcommunity.com/app/1675200/discussions/0/4312743731806033741/

---

UPDATE:

After contacting steam support, i got in touch with someone that's presumably not butt-hurt at Valve to undo this falsely applied ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ban post-haste:

https://i.imgur.com/y3WFYEe.png

I contacted them after this and they are adamant on not giving me any sort of information or even details: https://i.imgur.com/qYcrv5K.png

I've had this stuff happen before (can't look up now cause steam support tickets get deleted after awhile) but it's most definitely a confirmation that i'm being targeted by people working at Valve.

Gabe seem to not have learned much following his other 4 hardware failures by introducing this non-upgradeable Steam Machine trying to copy the Nintendo Switch:

https://store.steampowered.com/steamdeck

This monstrosity has many things wrong with it, but i know just where to begin.

---

It comes with it by default with no options to ordering it with another OS of any kind. What's wrong with it?.. Well, it's basically Linux that's been copy-pasta'ed and right off the gate, that blocks you from playing roughly 85% of all the games on Steam and probably 95% of all games not on Steam. Off to a great start!

It's been nearly 20 years and Linux Arch STILL hasn't taken off in any remotely significant capacity when it comes to gaming, despite Valve feverishly catapulting money left and right for decades to make more games compatible with it or just to try and stoke general interest when there's none to be had (a desperate attempt to lower the reliance on Windows), both from developers and gamers with it literally encompassing less than 0.9% of users on Steam[i.imgur.com], with Arch specifically being a pathetic 0.1%.

The only saving grace on this topic is that you can apparently run other OS'es on it.. Why does it not come as a purchasing option? Because doing so is most likely a recipe for a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ disaster on everything ranging from UI's to controller input to hardware compatibilities (Steam controllers still ONLY work with Steam) to instability and performance issues. Valve's stance on this is extremely loose with official support not actually being a thing as it's all "do whatever you want" FAQ statements.

---

It comes with a quad-core CPU that is roughly equivalent to Ryzen 3 3k's which is basically a series of budget gaming processors. To put this into some perspective, many titles like RDR2, all new Assassins Creeds, Crusader Kings 3, Nioh 2, Mount & Blade: Bannerlord, Resident Evil 3 and MANY other YEARS old games RECOMMEND you to at least have something in the Ryzen 5 range.. Meaning, before it has even left the starting line, the Steam Deck is already underpowered for aging games.

How's the GPU? It's weaker than both the PS5 or Xbox X series. If this hasn't gotten you reeling already, there's unfortunately even more problems with the battery being worse than the Nintendo Switch at a pathetic 2 hours of gaming lifespan that will undoubtedly worsen overtime as all modern batteries do, especially with heavy cycling as gaming will require.

---

"Uh.. Just upgrade it!" you might reply to point 2.. Sorry, you can't.. Well, except for the storage that will go from 64 GB costing 500$ to over 800$ for 512 GB.. Yes, the base price model that doesn't even have enough storage to hold 1-2 moderately sized PC games is 100$ more expensive than the blu-ray removed PS5 or 200$ more than the digital Xbox Series S.

This thing also requires a separately purchased docking station in order to have an ethernet connection (to avoid massive MP lag & package loss and be able to download games in a timely manner) which is likely to set you back at least another 100$.. And if you want to actually use it as a portable device, buying a power bank can be expected to be mandatory.

Attempting to upgrade or replace other internal components is also an act of playing russian roulette as different hardware has different power usage and can seriously interfere or even damage other functions of the device.

---

It weighs almost twice as much as the Nintendo Switch, the non 800$+ models don't have anti-glare screens, it uses the same defective/unreliable squeaky low-quality buttons found on their Index controllers and the thing is a huge brick that will not fit in any sort of pocket or jacket. Meaning: It's unable to compete with the compact size of phones or other similar portable gaming devices and nor can it match the power of gaming laptops.

It also has an extremely unorthodox button layout that is difficult to get used to with two giant haptic trackpads that is guaranteed to have all the same problems the steam controllers currently have, reallocating buttons to the very top of the device. If you have remotely small hands or thumbs, forget about trying to use this thing.

---

The Steam Deck is basically one giant AMD-powered device. Problem?.. Well, besides AMD from constantly being overlooked and not having their products be optimised for a ton of games, you also have the fact that NVIDIA is constantly undermining & sabotaging them on a yearly basis.[www.techspot.com]

"But, uhh.. Surely it's polished and thoroughly tested!".. Weeellll... They're literally shoving it out of the door just in time for christmas and every single other hardware release of theirs has been an unprecedented disaster.

And oh yeah, did i mention Steam recently imposed EXTREME restrictions on you changing your country often? Yes, that's right. You won't be able to frequently travel and buy games for this PORTABLE DEVICE if you're not in the same country, unless you fancy having your entire Steam account permanently banned.. And there's even more restrictions on-top of this.[i.imgur.com]

---

But hey, i could be wrong and stuff.

https://everythingvalve.wordpress.com/

Game has a lot going for it, but it needs some serious work to be the best it can be:

https://steamcommunity.com/id/Coeco/recommended/892970

If you're playing the game, it currently has save-killing bugs, so back up your saves at:

User\AppData\LocalLow\IronGate

About two weeks ago, Valve decided it'd be a great idea to officially integrate Denuvo's highly experimental, unstable, controversial "anti-cheat" solution into the Steamworks:

https://techraptor.net/gaming/news/denuvo-anti-cheat-system-can-now-be-used-with-any-steam-game

"But there might be less cheating now!"

I hear you say.. At what cost, though? This thing is much akin to the nastiest viruses you can get as it hooks itself all the way onto your kernel drivers, as admitted by it's own developers:

https://i.imgur.com/y4sTszy.png

Some quick anatomy for you less computer cunning: Kernel = Basically your computer's spine. Think i'm exaggerating? Afraid not:

https://www.altchar.com/game-news/doom-eternals-denuvo-anti-cheat-is-being-detected-as-malware-a7gf98q4K91z

----------------------------------------

This thing stoked so much anger and backlash, the developers of Doom Eternal were forced to remove it after a single week.. And now less than half a year later following it's inception, Valve goes "Time to make this thing mainstream dawg!"

Why were people angry? Weeeell.. Turns out it completely wrecks your computer, ranging from BSOD's, raping your performance and failing to terminate itself:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Doom/comments/gjzi01/why_you_should_remove_doom_eternal_denuvo

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If you play any sort of game with multiplayer on it (it turns itself on even if you only want to do single-player as well), you'd better be clenching those buttcheeks.

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https://everythingvalve.wordpress.com/

Has been updated with more information.